


let it go (and move on)

by every_fandom_ever



Series: Whumptober 2019 [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Human shield, Hurt Steve Rogers, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Sad Peter Parker, Whumptober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-24 16:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20910743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/every_fandom_ever/pseuds/every_fandom_ever
Summary: Steve makes a decision and Peter blames himself for it.





	let it go (and move on)

Peter’s brain was moving faster than his body could, the battle raging around him. Everyone was yelling at everyone else through the comms. The aliens themselves were everywhere, quickly spreading from one street, down to the next, and down to the next. There were already so many casualties, even more people injured, that the team couldn’t afford to waste time. 

“Spiderman!” Someone shouted behind him, but Peter was too late. Steve had shoved him out of the way, taking the full force of the shot meant for Peter. He went down, the shield landing a few feet away. 

Peter shot a web at the alien, trapping it against the wall. 

“Captain's down! H-He got hit, on the corner of fifth and twenty-first!” Peter ran next to Steve, slamming down on his knees. “Captain, you need to stay awake, Mr. Stark is coming with Bruce. They’ll be here soon but you need to wake up!” Steve’s eyes didn’t open. He didn’t move, he wasn’t breathing. There was so much blood. Peter tried to stop it, pushing his hands on the wound in his stomach. He watched as the blood flowed between his fingertips, soaking into his suit. 

He barely processed the sound of Tony landing behind him. He kept his hands pressed against Steve’s stomach. Even when someone tried to pull him away. It didn’t matter who, Peter couldn’t leave Steve, bleeding out on the ground. 

“Peter, you need to let go, the med team will take care of him.”

“I- no, I can’t. He-. I need to help.”

“Let go, Peter,” Soft hands pulled him away, but the blood still stuck to his hands. He watched as they lifted Steve’s body onto a stretcher, carrying him away. Tony was right next to them. He turned and yelled something at Peter, but Peter couldn’t hear a thing. All he could hear was a ringing in his ears. The blood was starting to become sticky.

Peter wanted to throw up. 

“I need to find May.” he didn’t know what made him say it, but Peter stood up, still watching the med team walk away. The soft hands grabbed his arm, but he pulled away. He pulled the mask back on, swinging away before they could find him again. 

\--

He manages to avoid the tower for a week. 

May tries to pay it off, indirectly asking him questions, but he avoided those like the plague. He stayed in his room, doing his work and trying to block out the images of blood. He goes to school, leaving through the back entrance in case Happy was waiting for him. He hadn’t responded to any of Tony’s messages, ignoring the spam and the voicemails. All he knew was that Steve had been spotted at a cafe outside the Tower with the Falcon, but he didn’t want to know. Steve had been hurt, almost died, because he was trying to protect Peter. He didn’t even know Peter that well, he just jumped in front of him. 

Peter ignored those thoughts as he lay in bed, messing with his phone but never actually turning it on. Peter focused on the sounds of May cooking dinner. She hummed along to a song playing on the radio, shuffling her feet across the tiles. He tensed up a bit when the doorbell rang but kept listening.

“Hello?- Oh, I- I didn’t-”

“Hello Mrs. Parker, I don’t think we’ve officially met.” Steve was at the door, “Is it ok if I come in?”

“Of course! I was just making some dinner. I have to say, didn’t expect Captain America to visit today,”

“Sorry, it was kind of a last-minute decision. I just got officially released from Medical today so-”

“Oh, I heard about what happened. Peter was pretty shaken up, but how are you doing?”

“I’m fine now, I actually came to see if I could talk to Peter?”  _ He’s gonna kick you off the team. _

“Oh, sure. He came back after that fight and he was so quiet. I didn’t see what happened, but he won’t talk to me about it. Maybe you can get something to talk to him,” but Peter was already climbing out of bed, climbing out the window.  _ He’s going to tell you to not come back. No more team. Now that all the Avengers are back together, they don’t need you to mess things up. You almost killed Captain America. They don’t want you there. No more hanging out with Tony, no lab days, no more helping you study for decathlon. They cleaned out your room, he probably has your stuff here now _ -

“Peter?” He was on the roof, leaning against an ac unit. Peter doesn’t remember climbing up, but it doesn’t matter. It’s freezing outside and the wind feels like it’s chipping away at his lungs, but it doesn’t matter. “Can I sit over there?” Peter nodded. Steve slowly walked over, sitting right next to Peter. Peter didn’t say anything. He waited for Steve to start, get it out of the way.

“You know, he talks about you all the time.” what?

“What?”

“Tony. When we’re flying back from a meeting or a mission, or even just hanging out, he’ll tell us about the latest project you’re working on or how your grades are. Even before we all moved back in, he could have an entire conversation about the science pun you had on your shirt that day,”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Peter didn’t get it. Steve was supposed to yell at him, lecture him, something. 

“He loves you. You haven’t been by the tower in a while and he’s going crazy. I don’t think he’s gone longer than three days without hearing from you. Is there a reason you’ve been avoiding him?” Steve kept his voice quiet, just above the noise of the traffic below. Peter didn’t want to avoid the tower or Tony. He thought it would be better to just leave them alone than get humiliated if he tried to go back. 

“I just thought...I don’t know,”   
“You think he doesn’t want you around?” Peter nodded. He tucked his knees into his chest, hiding his face from Steve, “Is this because of the fight last week?”

“You got hurt. Trying to save me.”

“Pete, Tony isn’t mad at you because I got hurt. It was my choice to do that, nothing you or Tony could’ve done that would’ve stopped me. Don’t blame yourself for that,”

“But if-”

“Don’t worry about what could’ve happened if you did something else, what happened happened. All that’s left is to learn and move on.” Peter looked up at Steve. He had admired Captain America for most of his childhood. Meeting Tony had changed everything for him. Being told he needed to fight Captain America changed him even more. Knowing the real Tony made Peter question everything about his heroes, but them moving back in...he was hesitant. Tony, however, was fine with the move.

“Are you and Tony dating?” Steve sighed and looked out towards the skyline.

“It’s...hard to explain.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.” They sat there for a while, just watching the sunset. Steve never mentioned Peter being on the team, he just stayed quiet, letting Peter process everything. 

“Is it alright if I come over tomorrow after practice?”

“Of course Peter. Natasha is making Piroshkis, we’ll make sure there’s some for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> bit longer since its a day late


End file.
